70 Lessons Learned from Doctor Who

Bananas are good

Always take a banana to a party

Roentgen radiation can be expelled through the foot, only if the receptacle is a red Converse shoe

Sticking a sonic screwdriver into an x-ray machine frazzles it

Multigrain anti-oil – if it moves, it doesn’t

The French really know how to party

The Doctor needs his thumb – he’s very attached to his… thumb…

Rose cannot do a Scottish accent

The Royal Family have an A+ blood type

Everyone knows who Harriet Jones is

The Doctor is rude. And not ginger.

Rose and the Doctor’s first date was in the year 5 billion. They had chips

The Doctor likes a little shop. Not a big shop. Just a shop. So people can… shop

The Doctor’s still got it. ;-)

The Doctor is slim. And a little bit foxy

Gambling for less than ten quid is an abuse of your privilege as a traveller in time. Anything over that is fine

The Doctor has an overactive left eyebrow

Be suspicious of politicians with forehead zips

Santa’s a robot

708 plastic surgery operations will turn you into a bitchy trampoline

Don’t blink

If you turn onto ITV tonight, there’s a chance the universe will implode…

Queen Victoria was not amused. Eventually

If you see a little boy in a gas mask asking if you’re his mummy, RUN!!

If it’s alien, it’s ours!

You will be deleted

Earth is the only planet to have made edible ball bearings

The Doctor is NOT from Mars

Shakespeare was a flirt

Master can’t decide whether you should live or die…

Anything involving the word “titanic” will end badly

If your name is Jack don’t say anything around the Doctor. He’ll think you’re flirting

Be eternally on the lookout for anagrams

If you meet anyone called Yana don’t ask them about their watch

Blondes + Doctor tragedy

The Doctor is a public menace

If your substitute teacher walks into the room and says nothing except the name of the subject repeatedly, watch out. Something weird will happen

Suit + Converse sneakers geek chic

The angels have the phone box

Christmas trees are deadly

If your name is Mickey, it’s not anymore. It is now Ricky or the Idiot

If you meet someone called Alonso, you know what to say!

Rose is all… pink and yellow

Spatio-temporal hyperlink is just a fancy term for magic door

France. It’s a different planet.

The Doctor is worth the monsters

Humans taste like chicken

Never say never ever

If you don’t have a gun, and the enemy does, they can shoot you dead. But the moral high ground is yours

Cybermen are superior to the Daleks in one respect. They are better at dying

“To be or not to be” is a bit pretentious

The Doctor supplied half of Shakespeare’s lines

6 words can bring down a whole government

Correctamundo is a word that should only ever be said once

Tallulah is spelt with three L’s and an H

Martha and the Doctor have been busy doing… stuff

There’s no such thing as an ordinary human

The prettier it is the more likely it is to kill you

The sun is alive!

There’s an Act of Parliament banning Harriet Jones’ autobiography

Hospitals creep the Doctor out

When you try to speak the native language when the TARDIS is already translating for you, you sound welsh. Especially when trying to speak Latin

Adipose are the universe’s cutest monsters

Protein 1 with just a dash of protein 3 tastes like sugary milk

Allons-y is a multipurpose exclamation

Natural Ood don’t have translator spheres

You don’t want to make the Doctor angry

You REALLY don't want to make the Doctor angry

We live in the Second Great and Bountiful Human Empire

The Doctor has difficulty counting in stressful situations